The Illusion of Control


When the illusion of the self (ego self) and ego layers are believed as real… the illusion of control simply follows because the self needs control to sustain and validate its reality.

Humans are the only species that exist with the illusion that it has control over life. All other lifeforms in nature function in mutual coherence and interdependence. Imbalances correct themselves and life continues itself. That’s because human beings are the only species that have evolved to the level of a highly sophisticated belief and attachment to its sense of self.

All perceptions and beliefs in controlling and needing to control give rise to positive thinking, affirmations, religions and spirituality… all theories and ideas of sorts. Some have gone on to be misused entirely by some humans in controlling each other.

The stating of the matter asĀ thinking that you have control in your life is an illusion is enough to cause some niggly unrest or dis-ease within many, for the self thrives and feeds on security and hope… to sustain its roots of fear.

What fears?

Fears of this and that… fear of present and future, all rooted in the past.

Fears of pain, anguish, discomfort, sadness, lack.

Fears of death and non existence.

Fears of the unknown.

Hence, we search, seek, adopt, practise or even create our own sets of beliefs, plans, ideas, methods and justifications… so that we know, or think we know that we’re guaranteeing a better present and future, and escape from undesirable past.

This is not saying that we shouldn’t learn from our past. This here is not a prescription for how to or not to live… for each human being is a combination of its beliefs. There is no right or wrong in how that’s lived and played out. This here is only a presentation of a bigger picture perspective.

However, the bigger perspective also includes the clear seeing that apart from immediate fears e.g. coming face-to-face with a hungry tiger, all fears live only in the head, hence are part of the illusion. All fears (and hopes) arise from the sense of self and goes toward feeding the sense of self. Immediate fears such as facing immediate threats, simply does itself, an automatic response that kicks in the fight-or-flight.

When the sense of self crumbles and the illusional self is seen and known for what it is, all fears and hopes dissolve along with the illusion.

How does this apply in our daily lives, you may ask?

  • How often do you make decisions based on past experiences?
  • How aware are you that your past experiences, beliefs and ideas color your present perceptions?
  • How much are these present perceptions and decisions (based on past fears and hopes for better future) blocking your current joys and well being?
  • How much do you fear vulnerability, rawness and the unknown?

Do we find ourselves stuck in these laments or dreams of:

“My life is so dead and lifeless… I don’t know what my passions are..”

“I’m never ever going to get into another relationship again, for I was hurt so badly in the past..”

“I hate my job… but I can’t leave, because the unknown is too scary…”

“I can’t cry and feel my emotions or I would lose control…”

“My children need to have that degree, job, title, income, get married and they will be secure and happy ever after”

“When I lose that weight, I will find love”

“I will be happy when I find the right woman”

“When I heal from this illness I will be happy and at peace”

“If I eat all the right foods, exercise and live rightly as such, I should live till a ripe age of 100”

Being caught in the illusion of having control on life is as realistic as walking into an ocean thinking you can control the waves, or climbing a mountain thinking you can control the weather.

The fact of the matter is, you are life itself, just as much as that snail on the pavement and that flower bud that blooms in the dew-filled morning. Only difference is you have an evolved brain and awareness that can be aware of itself.

However, that privilege also comes along with a myriad constitution of this illusional “self” and all that it pertains.

When the self is crumbled for what it is, the awareness is there, but no stickiness nor attachments to any of its ideas, beliefs and stories. All is a fresh canvas for a new painting to emerge.

As such the love currents of life simply carries and flows forth into infinite wonders, joys and possibilities. Regardless of how unknown, new and unexplored each arising moment is, it’s simply a flow of its own from utter and pure freshness, like a child viewing and experiencing life for the first time! Lessons and memories from past may still be known and integrated but they are part of the spontaneous flow and do not grip nor impede.

Life is unpredictable, unknowable, uncontrolled. It does itself. That’s why it’s supremely precious, joyous and at awe of itself. However sublime, sorrowful, painful, suspenseful… the quiescent peace is the eye of the movement and dance.

Each moment is simply fresh, new and its own ~ ready for the creation of its own new dance and play, in this beautiful suspended dream of aliveness, rawness and Life!

Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments in the boxes below…

Wishing you a life-filled of aliveness! šŸ˜€

Much Love,







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